Sometimes when I think N is not worrying enough about the wedding, I like to mess around with her a little bit.
"So for the reception on 12th, I'm thinking not too much jewellery right?" she asked one evening. Once I get the urge it doesn't go away. "Umm, yea, I guess. But it's in our village right? People there like to see gold, you know? Like, really SEE it. You probably need only about 30 or 35 sovereigns." (1 sovereign of gold is 8 grams and is the most popular measure of gold in Kerala). I keep a straight face.
"Whaaat! Isn't that too much? Someone's got to have a way of knowing how much is too much!" There's a slight whine in her voice.
"Oh, but they have a way of doing that. You don't know?"
She looks at me expectantly.
"You go into 'fat food' mode for two weeks. Milk, butter and ghee so that your muscles become strong and able to sustain loads. Then we make a trip to Josco Jewellers, and they ask you to keep your arms and neck as straight as possible. They start putting on the jewellery you need, piece by piece. Your weight multiplied by 4.5 is the amount of gold in grams you can reasonably have on your body, before your neck and arm muscles find it overbearing. Once your neck tilts 30 degrees from its initial position, that's when you can stop."
OK, she didn't buy it. But on the plus side, I think I had her going till the 30 degrees part. And well, I didn't get slapped.
P.S.: The story was borrowed and liberally spiced up from my dear friend A's true life experience.
"So for the reception on 12th, I'm thinking not too much jewellery right?" she asked one evening. Once I get the urge it doesn't go away. "Umm, yea, I guess. But it's in our village right? People there like to see gold, you know? Like, really SEE it. You probably need only about 30 or 35 sovereigns." (1 sovereign of gold is 8 grams and is the most popular measure of gold in Kerala). I keep a straight face.
"Whaaat! Isn't that too much? Someone's got to have a way of knowing how much is too much!" There's a slight whine in her voice.
"Oh, but they have a way of doing that. You don't know?"
She looks at me expectantly.
"You go into 'fat food' mode for two weeks. Milk, butter and ghee so that your muscles become strong and able to sustain loads. Then we make a trip to Josco Jewellers, and they ask you to keep your arms and neck as straight as possible. They start putting on the jewellery you need, piece by piece. Your weight multiplied by 4.5 is the amount of gold in grams you can reasonably have on your body, before your neck and arm muscles find it overbearing. Once your neck tilts 30 degrees from its initial position, that's when you can stop."
OK, she didn't buy it. But on the plus side, I think I had her going till the 30 degrees part. And well, I didn't get slapped.
P.S.: The story was borrowed and liberally spiced up from my dear friend A's true life experience.
Your miliseconds on the zerohour counter really has a sense of urgency! :P i think it's about time mallus switched to Platinum... then they can't really afford to make the girls display stands!
ReplyDeleteAll the people who condescended the mallu urge to amass gold for their children's wedding should understand that Gold value has multiplied to 6 times its value in the last 12 years.. best investment ever!
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